Why do I always manage to make myself feel like an outsider? How do I manage to do it, so flawlessly in almost every situation? Why am I able to purposely make myself feel shit and worthless?
How do I always end up like this?
Feeling alone, and unliked.
Feeling boring, and plain.
Feeling not so good.
I’m not a depressed person, I can be happy, and smile and laugh and joke and dance and converse. But, it’s never for long, or there’s always a lingering thought of not being good enough. Someone else could easily take my place, and no one would care.
Why can’t anybody want to be with me first, over anyone else? Why am I a weight on people? How can I stop being one? It’s self confidence I know, but if I do try and be confident, it doesn’t work out well, and I don’t feel good, and I want to just be me again.