Blogs about my life

unnoticed

It’s not that I feel the need to have a boyfriend, it’s just the fact that I’ve never come close. 

My best friend, for the 3 years I’ve known her, has never been single, not that she’s promiscuous, but she just goes from serious relationship to serious relationship. And in all those years, I’ve had no one. 

It makes me question myself, and think that perhaps there’s something wrong with me. That I’m broken. It makes me feel unnoticed, and unliked.

It makes me feel alone. 

I feel like I’m missing out on a massive part of growing up. And sure people say when it happens it happens, but I can’t help but notice how much it greatly isn’t happening. And that everyone has all these stories, and I have none, and even if I tried to have some, it wouldn’t happen. I’m just never liked back. I’m obviously doing something wrong, not pretty enough, not funny enough, not flirty enough. I wish I had moved to another school for my last years of school, so that I could have been surrounded by new people and see if anything would change. 

I just feel shit. 

Jane Doe. 

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4 thoughts on “unnoticed

  1. Dear Jane

    Here’s the thing. Don’t worry about whether you’re ‘enough’. You are. You want someone who will see that you’re beautiful. Someone who sees you – sees your heart – and loves you the way you are. That’s when you know you’re home. And it’s okay to wait for that. Life can still be great without a boyfriend.

    And keep writing. It’s good.

    Ann

    • Ann,
      I know from this post it seems that I’m in dire need of a boyfriend. But that’s not exactly what I was trying to express. I’m a 17 year old girl in my last year of school, with literally no experience in the field of boys. Whilst, I’ve just watched my best friend, find boys anywhere.
      It just dampens self esteem, and does tend to make me feel a little worthless, even though I know I shouldn’t.
      Thank you for the compliment, I intend to keep at it.
      Jane Doe.

  2. I remember from my high school days that I just kept crushing on the wrong guys, the guys who didn’t like me back in that way, or I crushed on a guy that kept messing with my head until I finally had the guts to say “no more” and ignore him.
    And I kept ignoring the guys that actually liked me because I was too self-absorbed with my “perfect crushes”. So, maybe there are guys who actually like you and you might like them back, but you have to pay attention. There are boys who are pretty shy.
    Also, I found out in high school that if you drink a little and dance a little at party, you can have great make out sessions. As long as you don’t over do it on the drinking part. Although I think this advice borders on the inappropriate side, but, hey, I was a teen and drank at parties.
    I’m going to add just one more thing: not having a boyfriend in high school is not a reflection of your looks, wits or charms. Maybe just a reflection of your inexperience. And it’s not like somebody cares about that. Sorry for writing a lot.

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